Brother Mike in Trouble

My older brother Mike doesn’t know he’s in trouble. Mike is low functioning, autistic and has never spoken. He is inwardly directed, if that concept even makes sense for him. I spent many years trying to understand my brother and, I don’t know him any better than I did 60 years ago. Mike breathes in […]

Portrait of Mike with Ventilator Hook Up

My drawings (as yet unposted here) have been getting more and more complicated. Layer upon layer of thoughts, when made visible, crowd the paper and dilute the focus. However, the point of layering is to get the thoughts on paper. I kept today’s sketch simple. I emphasized Mike’s face. The ventilator connection is subtle and […]

Processing – Back to My Brother Michael

It has been quite a while since I published anything related to the original purpose of this blog: exploration of my relationship between my older brother and me – my connection with autism. I began this blog to describe the impact of having an autistic brother, who is nonverbal and low functioning. (I’ve been away […]

The Status is Quo

Nothing new. Although she hasn’t had anything to eat or drink in the past 4-5 days, my niece’s condition has not changed much. Cancer is winning. She is non-communicative, and breathing very hard. Many people who knew her have been by to see her and tell her they love her. There is not much else […]

Relapse

State of mind: Fear and sadness have been stalking me. I’m trying to figure out where it is coming from. Buyer’s remorse? I have had that before. I just stocked up on some art supplies that I may or may not have needed. Last night, I really beat myself up. Lots of bad dreams Mom […]

Broken

I seem to be surrounded by broken things, things that are incomplete. Mom died just over a month ago, not more than two weeks after her 90th birthday. Many cousins I hadn’t seen in a while came to her party. We all had a great time. I traveled from California to New Jersey to be […]

The Reason

One of the reasons I wanted to draw and sketch was to be able to remember. I wanted to be able to have an image in my head and faithfully transcribe it to paper so other people could see was I saw. I wanted to be able to sketch in case I didn’t have a […]

I was so sick…

There is a saying, “I was so sick, I was afraid I wasn’t going to die.”  I’ve been feeling that way for the past couple of days. I don’t know if I’m in the eye of the storm, if the medication is taking effect or if I’m better. But I am grateful for feeling halfway […]

inFLUenza

My father was known (among other things) for his puns, shaggy dog stories and jokes (an arguable characterization). One of his stories is apropos of today’s situation. It so happens that there was a witch named Enza, who was forever trying to get into one particular house. The resident was fastidious about sealing the home, […]

Grief: Where To Begin?

Many of you, like me, may be classic movie fans. I tend to gravitate toward Film Noir. I’m a noiry kind of guy. Also, crime films. One can learn a lot from movies. Just the other day, I was watching White Heat, starring Jimmy Cagney. He played a sociopathic, homicidal momma’s boy named Cody. Cody […]

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