Blaming the Victim

I wonder how many of you have heard someone say, “You should have taken better care of yourself”, after you catch a cold. “What did I do to deserve this?” is the same question. This time it is the victim that blames him or herself. Why is it so easy to cast blame? Does it […]

You Don’t Have Anything Better To Do.

I wonder how many times autistic siblings have heard this phrase. Was it just me? I have to admit that when I was growing up, I didn’t hear those words.  My Mom wanted me to go out and play with the other kids. I’m sure Dad wanted the same things, but he also reinforced the […]

Three Pumpkins

Have you ever looked at something all the time and, many years later, look at it again and notice something completely different about it? The picture below is an example of that for me. I carved mine, Mom and Dad helped my other brothers with theirs. We always put them on the stoop for Halloween.  […]

Refrigerator Mothers

My Letter to The Times About 10 or so years ago, the New York Times published an article about siblings of autistic children.  Lacking in the article was the perspective of someone my age – one who grew up in the 1950s.  I was fortunate in having my letter to the editor published. Below is […]


I think I took this picture of Mike. Pretty good for a kid, although not the traditional type found in a family album. It surprised me when I came across it among the family snaps. Looking at it with today’s eyes, it captures the essence of my relationship with my older brother. There was this […]

Michael, My Older Brother

(This is a re-post from the ‘History’ section, where I discuss Depiction of the Mentally Ill) Respectful portrayal of the handicapped is a question near and dear to my heart, since my older brother is profoundly retarded and autistic. Michael has never spoken and it was never obvious to me if he know who I […]