Tag Archives: grief
The Status is Quo
Nothing new. Although she hasn’t had anything to eat or drink in the past 4-5 days, my niece’s condition has not changed much. Cancer is winning. She is non-communicative, and breathing very hard. Many people who knew her have been by to see her and tell her they love her. There is not much else […]
Clawing
What would you do to hang on to life? The procedure didn’t work. Breath won’t come easier. Scratches down the throat on the inside, pain of healing an invasion, for nothing. Where to from here?
From Memory
Today’s watercolor experiment: Dad died 8 years ago today (by the lunar calendar). I lit a candle and tried drawing him from memory. Dad had a distinctive face and, of all the people I’ve (tried to) sketch, he seemed to be the easiest for me. Seemed to be… After I finished the portrait, I showed it […]
Happy Birthday to Me
Birthdays are bittersweet. I love watching children who express utter delight at the attention and excitement on their own birthdays. I observed this with my grandson at his second birthday a few months ago. We dimmed the lights to show off the cake and its bright candles. William was focused on the cake and the […]
Relapse
State of mind: Fear and sadness have been stalking me. I’m trying to figure out where it is coming from. Buyer’s remorse? I have had that before. I just stocked up on some art supplies that I may or may not have needed. Last night, I really beat myself up. Lots of bad dreams Mom […]
Choice
Change of pace for today. Circumstances dictate that I take a break from the outer landscape to concentrate on the inner, at least for today. Had a crummy night last night. Dreams. I can’t recall exactly what they were, but I’m sure that some of them had to do with my mother, who died in February […]
Blind Portrait
Today’s watercolor experiment: Yesterday I did not take my eyes of the plant I was drawing. I did not look at the paper. Today I did the opposite. I closed my eyes and did not look at the paper or the subject. The subject was my mother’s face. I used to practice drawing her face […]
Unexpected
I decided to take a break from thinking about grief, drawing plants, ferns and fungi. Today’s watercolor experiment: I did not want to think. I wanted to try my new watercolor paper. It is larger (12″x16″) than the paper I am used to (9″x12″). I pre-wet the paper with my 3” brush, which seemed much […]
By the Waters of Babylon
My wife, Joy and I just started watching Mad Men. Frankly I was a little bit leery about rehashing the 1950s and its prevailing attitudes. Drinking, smoking, antisemitism, treating women badly was the norm back then. The protagonist, Don Draper, is a mysterious, emotionally empty Madison Avenue ad agency creative director. Little by little we […]
Brotherly Love 