Haven’t Gotten Here…

Below is a watercolor I painted the day before I flew back to New Jersey to see my gravely ill mother. Dave, my younger brother, called me to say she wasn’t doing well. We had all gathered the week before for Mom’s 90th birthday. Although Mom was still alive when I painted this, it has always […]

Daylight Comfort Zone

Comfort zone: They say that it is good to be out of one’s comfort zone. I’m willing to risk getting back into it for just a little while. The past couple of weeks… make that months have pegged the discomfort needle to the maximum setting: numb.  It started with planning for a trip back east […]

I was so sick…

There is a saying, “I was so sick, I was afraid I wasn’t going to die.”  I’ve been feeling that way for the past couple of days. I don’t know if I’m in the eye of the storm, if the medication is taking effect or if I’m better. But I am grateful for feeling halfway […]

inFLUenza

My father was known (among other things) for his puns, shaggy dog stories and jokes (an arguable characterization). One of his stories is apropos of today’s situation. It so happens that there was a witch named Enza, who was forever trying to get into one particular house. The resident was fastidious about sealing the home, […]

Everything Has To Be Somewhere

Yesterday, Dave, my younger brother and I cleaned out Mom’s apartment. She died last week, not long after her 90th birthday. I was able to fly out from California for her party. It was a lot of fun. Mom had a rough night just before I left to go home. Just before my plane took off, I […]

We’re Done

My brother Dave and I just finished cleaning out Mom’s apartment. I’ve been back on the east coast from California for about 10 days: since February 19. I was here in the east earlier in the month for Mom’s 90th birthday party. She was determined to have her party. A full six months before she was […]

Grief: Where To Begin?

Many of you, like me, may be classic movie fans. I tend to gravitate toward Film Noir. I’m a noiry kind of guy. Also, crime films. One can learn a lot from movies. Just the other day, I was watching White Heat, starring Jimmy Cagney. He played a sociopathic, homicidal momma’s boy named Cody. Cody […]

Portraying Death

Mom’s been in the hospital for a couple of days now. She was admitted one day after her 90th birthday, on the day that I left her to travel back to the west coast. With her kidneys failing, low blood pressure and other troublesome vital signs, my brother and I had lost hope. The nurse told me […]

Grief

I recently posted about aging (Diminishment) and disability (Comfort Zone). Some reduction of faculties are gradual and can be tolerated I imagine, much as one gets used to the shock of jumping into a pool of cold water. Although frightening, this aspect of the human condition is often a topic that people in older age groups can […]