Below is a watercolor I painted the day before I flew back to New Jersey to see my gravely ill mother. Dave, my younger brother, called me to say she wasn’t doing well. We had all gathered the week before for Mom’s 90th birthday.

Untitled
9″x12″ 140# Cold Pressed Watercolor Block

Although Mom was still alive when I painted this, it has always been my nature to jump the gun in terms of my feelings… I should say, the portrayal of my feelings.

Those of you following my blog have read about the whirlwind of activity surrounding Mom’s death. In contrast with the outer serenity and sadness of the watercolor above, I characterize this time as being more like the turbulence created by an eggbeater. This includes the literal disassembling of the trappings of Mom’s life and dispersing them. Nothing seems settled. It is as if everything about Mom is like the snow in a shaken-up snow dome.

There may come a time when things are serene again. I assume that when this happens, the numbness will wear off.