My original idea for today’s experiment was ‘compartmentalization’. I have always been very good at keeping unpleasant thoughts or subjects at bay (on a conscious level). On the other hand, I am also known to be something of a ‘worry wart’. For the big things (i.e., serious illnesses), I try to lose myself in the details. […]

shhh… cancer

When I was young nobody ever said the word ‘cancer’ in a normal tone of voice. It would always be said in a whisper. For example,  “Did you hear, Joanie has… cancer…?” with the last word barely said, or just mouthed, without sound. The other day, I encountered the modern-day equivalent of minimization of the ‘C’ […]

It Worked

It worked. Distraction, I mean.  Yesterday I mentioned that this was the first year I didn’t get a happy birthday call from Mom, not because she forgot to call, but because she died earlier in the year. One of my ways of dealing with sadness and bad feelings has been to compartmentalize. However, it was hard […]

The Jitters

I had the jitters pretty badly this morning. I’m pretty sure it was related to the plight of my mother. Last week I traveled across the country to attend her 90th birthday. She told me six months ago that she would ‘hold on’ until I got there. There actually was nothing acutely wrong with her, […]

Imminent Failure

I’ve written about compartmentalization in at least one previous post. In the post entitled ‘Compartmentalization‘, the emphasis was on my watercolor of a sagittal section of a brain that appeared to be subdivided into different chambers, or compartments. (Note: Although the brain actually does have chambers, or ventricles, within, I was not referring to them.)   […]

This is not a Pipe or a Fountain

I’ve been thinking about my mother since her 90th birthday a week ago. I traveled back east to see her and many family members that I had not seen in many years. Everyone enjoyed the time together. Mom had a bad night my last night there. She didn’t seem well in the morning and and we […]