Dream Portrait: In Fear

I had an odd dream sequence last night. It really wasn’t a sequence, though. The same theme played over and over in different guise each and every time I struggled to consciousness and slipped back under.

I was disoriented in my dream state, but I knew if I pried my eyes open I would be able to tell where I was. But attaining consciousness was like fighting for air. I became so tired that my eyes closed again and I knew that I would lose my grip on consciousness. I would enter dreamland and be lost again.

Each transition to my dream state consisted of spark-like electricity somewhere, perhaps under my bed, and the dread of losing my place in space. Then I would begin to feel motion, like sledding on snow, moving faster and faster without control. I would get chills and couldn’t figure out whether I was cold or in a state of fear.

I began my watercolor today with semi-random drippings of latex resist on my paper. I manipulated it and let it dry. I painted the paper a dark blue, but a certain area reminded me of a head. I overpainted that area with yellow. The head area became green.

Watercolor: Abstract - Fear Stage 1

Fear Stage 1

It occurred to me that the random markings I made on the paper contained the visual elements of my dream state.

Here is the next stage of the work. I’m not sure if it is finished or just a sketch for a more refined piece on the same theme.

Watercolor: Abstract - Fear

9″x12″ 140# Cold Pressed Block

My creative process in this study consisted of organizing the (seemingly) random marks in a way that had meaning to me.

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