Periodic reality check

From time to time, I need to pause and reflect about my posts to see that they are still related to my original mission: to blog about autism and related topics from a sibling’s point of view.  When I first began my blog in 2013, I spent the first eleven months or so recapitulating what life was like with Michael, my brother, who is low functioning, autistic and nonverbal; my reactions and attempts to understand him; and my relationship with him.

At about the time of his birthday in late 2013, my mother, younger brother and I had a chance to visit him in his group home. I hadn’t seen Mike in a very long time, since I moved to the west coast. I was so disappointed by Mike’s (seeming) lack of recognition of any of us, although it should not have been a surprise.

Since that visit, I have changed the focus of my blog to explore how I can better express myself through the visual arts. Everyone is handles stress and specific family dynamics differently, but I am sure that Mike’s influence made it very important for me to be able to share how I feel with others.

I would be willing to bet that other siblings of severely handicapped individuals have similar issues.

All over the map recently

I seem to be all over the map in terms of what I am sketching these days. First it’s plants, then fish… are my themes related at all? There is an underlying common denominator: a keen interest in observing my surroundings, filtering them through my mind and re-presenting them with my own hands for all to see.

While some of my posts concentrate on the watercolor techniques, others follow themes upon which I occasionally wax philosophic. One ongoing example is the saga of Arthur, my pet avocado sapling; another is my series of still lifes of my Dragonfruit as it decayed (Single Dragonfruit, Symmetry, Dragonfruit Unchained, Dragonfruitus Resumptus and Aging Dragonfruit, Old Dragonfruits Never Die).

Artistic credo

Although I have some talent in the visual arts, I continually seek guidance and inspiration from artists I admire. One of my favorite artists is Paul Klee, who left behind a wealth of information about drawing and painting in his notebooks and diaries. Robert Kudielka relates two quotes from Klee’s credo, which are key points for an artist attempting to express him or herself: 1) “Art does not reproduce the visible, but makes visible.”; 2) “The intention is to make the accidental essential.”  (Kudielka, R.  Paul Klee: The Nature of Creativity, Works 1914 – 1940. London: Hayward Gallery Publishing, 2002)

Today’s observation – aftermath of fishing

I always learn a little something when I watch my cousin clean fish. In fact, the term ‘cleaning fish’ does not convey his artistry at changing a fish from its natural state to that which we put it the oven and cook. When he is done, there are two slabs of meat, a head, a tail and a skeleton.

Since no one in the family cares for fish-head soup, and being ever conscious of waste, I asked him what he does with the remains. He gave me a quizzical look and said, “I bury them of course. They’re great for the garden.”

There you have it. One should always go fishing. It’s great for the garden.

Side note

It so happens that Paul Klee addressed creativity through a garden metaphor:

1. “Let the active force be the soil in which the seed opens: the complex: soil, seed, nourishment, growth, roots, which produce the form.
2. Rising into the light and open air the breathing organs form: one or two tiny leaves, and then more leaves and more leaves.
3. Result, the flower. The plant is full grown.”

(Paul Klee Notebooks, edited by Jürg Spiller. Volume II: The Nature of Nature, translated from the German by Heinz Norden (454 pages). Overlook Press 1973)

Today’s experiment

As with yesterday’s experiment, I did not use a pencil to start today’s sketch. I began by wetting the top area with water and dabbing in a combination of Payne’s gray and black (don’t recall what variety of black at the moment). As I looked a the photograph of the fish head, I noticed colors other than the silvery white around the mouth and gills.

Fish Head – Photo

For the bluish hues, I used Peacock blue, which I applied to the wet paper surface; I did the same with the Burnt Sienna for the reddish hues.

Fish Head
9″x12″ 140# Cold Pressed Watercolor Block

I came up with a solution for the shimmery effect of the fish skin. I applied the opaque imitation silver gouache in the places where I wanted that effect and glazed over them with the appropriate color. I was hoping that glazing – the application of a layer of transparent watercolor on top of a thoroughly dry layer of watercolor – would allow the iridescence of the silver to come through.

It might be interesting to paint a fish head as it decays, just like my series on the Dragonfruit, but until I get a studio out of doors, this isn’t going to happen.