Being a New Sibling

I usually write about my brother Michael and my relationship with him. But my 8 1/2 year old granddaughter’s mother will have a baby any day now. On the eve of siblinghood, I asked Sidra her thoughts about becoming a big sister.

Jack: How long have you wanted a baby brother or sister?

Sidra: 8 years, my whole life.

Jack: You wanted to a brother or sister since you were 6 months old?

S: Yes.

J: How far back do you remember?

S: I went to school, my parents had a business and I was lonely. I wanted someone who could entertain me and who I could entertain.

Nana (butinsky): A companion?

S: Yeah, a companion.

J: Did you want a brother or a sister?

S: Either one. I just wanted somebody to play with and have fun with and somebody I didn’t have to ask Mom’s permission to go and see.

J: Didn’t you want Mom and Dad all to yourself?

S: Yeah, but I wanted somebody I could love that I could see almost every day.

J: You saw Mom and Dad every day, didn’t you?

S: I didn’t see Mom and Dad that much when they were running the business. I know that is a little exaggeration, but it’s the truth.

J: So you entertained yourself a lot?

S: It wasn’t easy.

J: I thought you had a lot of friends.

S: Yeah, but I hardly saw them.

J: You know Mom and Dad will be pretty busy with your baby brother. How do you feel about that?

S: Perfectly fine. He’ll grow up soon enough.

J: How soon?

S: Very soon.

J: He’ll be little and helpless for a long time.

S: Sometimes you have to wait and think about the good that will come.

J: They will need your help.

S: Yeah.

J: How would you help take care of your brother?

S: Change diapers, feed him, big sister stuff; I’d entertain him.

S: I don’t exactly want Mom and Dad to expect me to drop everything to take care of him. Just because you have a sibling doesn’t mean you can’t live your own life.

J: You know, you might have to make some sacrifices.

S: Like what?

J: Like Mommy wanting you to help when you don’t want to.

S: Oh.

J: What would you do?

S: I’d help. Because then they would appreciate it, and it’s nice to be appreciated.

J: But what if you got angry? Chances are you will be angry at some time, and that’s ok.

S: I probably will.

J: What would you do?

S: I’d hold myself in.

J: How would you get the anger out?

S: I’d scream into a pillow.

J: That’s a good way to cope.

S: Yeah. Sometimes when I’m in a sporting goods store and I’m angry, I punch the boxing thing and run on a treadmill.

J: That’s a wonderful way to get off some steam.  Is it ok if I interview you again from time to time after your brother is born?

S: Sure

J: Thank you Sidra, I love you.

S: I love you too, Zayde.

4 thoughts on “Being a New Sibling

    • Thanks, Jill. Yeah, Sidra is a sweetheart. Sensitive and so excited! She has worries though, one being afraid of being jealous. We told her that she probably will be at some point, but it’s ok to feel that way.

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