I’ve been at hospital all day (4.17.13). [Note: I like to post shortly after midnight, so the date on this post is 4.18.13] No baby yet. Siddy is still a Sib-to-Be. I will interview her later in the week after she is an actual sibling. Today’s thoughts are about having children.
Dodging a bullet?
Full disclosure: my daughters are actually my step daughters, whom I met when they were already grown up; I don’t have children of my own. Some say that I dodged a bullet by not having them. I’ve never been part of the labor and delivery process, but I’m great in the waiting room. I can leave the delivery room in a flash as soon as a doc or nurse comes in to do an examination.
Is childhood a factor?
I wonder if my childhood with Mike, my low functioning, autistic, nonverbal brother, factored in to my married-without-children status. If so, it was subconscious. Growing up, I wanted to have kids.
Is not having kids common with sibs?
I have questions for adult siblings of severely autistic or otherwise handicapped brothers or sisters:
1) Do have children of your own, or plan to have a family?
2) Was your brother or sister a factor in this?
a) Was it a factor for, or against?
b) What are your feelings about having your own children? I have mixed feelings, myself.
3) Does anyone know if there is any data about the number of children of siblings of severely disabled having their own children?
Oops, it’s C-section time. Gotta go.
good luck with delivery. I am disabled ( well thats what they tell me all the time), women with epilepsy do have children, lots of my friends do, but I don’t. When I was trying the doctors put the fear of god into me. With the medication it is supposted to be a military operation, and any chance of privatly going off and finding a partner to make babies is ended by the barrage of gynocologists, and neurologists telling me that they want a twitter feed to my bellly. it hasn’t put my sister off, she has two, a boy and a girl. they are great fun. Personally i want children but it has always worried me that someone in social services would make a judgement about me and decide that I wasn’t a fit mum. I meet lots of mums who haven’t got epilepsy who worry about this and they are all great mum’s.
Thanks, Ruth. The delivery went very well indeed.
Were the docs worried about the effects of the drugs on your having a baby? Would having a child adversely affect your health as someone with epilepsy?
Glad you have a niece and nephew! Kids can be a lot of fun.
Best,
Jack
I think they were monitoring all of the above, but once you have a nipper, like most of my friends with epilepsy, everything happens as normal. Most of the many people I know with epilepsy get along fine with a supportive spouse. I can imagine it being a bit difficult without one.
Glad the delivery went well! hope parents and sister are enjoying themselves!
🙂 don’t know who jack benny is….? but I’m sure your dad plays better than me!!
ruth
Thanks, Ruth.
Jack Benny? He was an old vaudvillian here in the US. In the 1950s and 60s he had a TV show in which he played a real skinflint. He had a deadpan delivery and in my opinion, one of the best comedians. One of his bits was to play a Kreutzer étude so badly, it was hysterical. Do look him up on YouTube or Netflix or something.
Jack