The photographs below have not been posted before in my blog. I was looking though my photo archives and found some photographs that show more about the relationship between my brother Mike and our father. Mike is older than me, autistic, low functioning and non verbal.
When I took these photos, Mike was living in a group home. I visited frequently, sometimes with my parents. These photographs are from our visit in June 1992.
Dad Reaching for Mike
The photo below appears to be Dad and Mike playing, but sometimes it was only Dad who was playing. sometimes Mike pulled away.
Dad Trying to Play with Mike
Dad and Mike Walking
It seems like your father never totally gave up trying to connect with Mike.
He never did, Maureen. But even he didn’t object to Mike being placed outside the family unit. As I mentioned before, it is a decision no one should have to make.
j
While I understand why parents made this decision back then, it’s still painful (no pun intended) for me to imagine my defenseless brother being abused and neglected in such a filthy place. My parents never even told me about Kevin. To make matters worse, when my sister used to ask where Kevin went, my mother told her that she never had a brother, that she imagined Kevin.
That is quite a head trip to put on a sibling. Good grief!
Yes, it sure was a ridiculous way to respond to her questions! I often wonder what would have happened if Kevin survived Willowbrook. I mean, clearly my parents never expected Kevin to leave Willowbrook (except the way he did I guess – via death) nor did they expect everything to come out via Geraldo’s expose. I wonder how they would have explained Kevin’s existence then.
It’s impossible to say how someone would have acted. One can usually predict by past behavior. Don’t forget that in the 50s, most Americans were shamed by mental illness, as may be the case with some today. There are all kinds of stories about hidden children… Take a look at To Kill a Mockingbird, for example.
best,
Jack
Still walking and still connected.
My photos of Mike are on average 25 years old. Mike is blind in one eye now, from what I understand and my father died in ’07. They both walk and connect in the photo, though.
j